It’s Christmas Eve! You know what that means. Last-minute shopping! Many of you have yet to find that perfect gift for everyone on your list, but you’re in luck! There’s one universally loved gift that suits everyone: the cat sweater!
I’ve made a list of a few beautiful cat sweaters that everyone can appreciate. Your gift will touch the recipient so much, he or she might cry!
Christmas is almost here, and you haven’t finished shopping! Gasp! Whatever shall you do? Perhaps… purchase a cat sweater or two? That’s right, folks: the long-awaited sequel to Christmas Cat Sweaters is here, and it’s even more questionable than before! Thanks to the multitude of hipsters infesting the USA, the cat sweater population is at an all-time high, so you can find the perfect gift for every member of your family. We don’t have much time before your chain-smoking Aunt Beth arrives and demands to know where her present is, so let’s get down to business, shall we?
I don’t want to get freaky with your fruits, disco granny cat!
Have you ever been inside an Aldi? One of the first things you’ll see is their cereal selection. It bombards you right at the door with its Sloth-inspired cereal mascots.
All of Aldi’s cereal boxes are teeming with eerie, bug-eyed Pixar rejects. Their eyes follow you around the store. You can try and hide in the produce section but it won’t do you any good. They have already seen you.
Why does Aldi use these pee-your-pants creepy mascots? I have a theory…
If you missed out on this show, be sad.
Not as sad as if you missed out on their show at Trees almost 3 years ago, when they gave a seriously unbeatable performance, but be sad.
It is my personal, factual, undisputed, universally-accepted-as-truth belief that BRMC is incapable of giving a bad performance. The night of April 27th was no exception.
State Fair mascot Big Tex died a mere 3 days ago. The beloved, terrifying giant cowboy is being mourned by Texans all over the world (or maybe just in Texas, ’cause they’re Texans).
The problem with mourning Big Tex is the obviousness that he’s a sex criminal (as evidenced by his face) using his celebrity to endorse Dickie’s, the makers of the worst clothes ever with the worst name ever. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll miss him, but I don’t think we should be sweeping his creepiness under the rug like we did when MJ died. We can’t fit him under a rug anyway.
I recently re-watched the opening episode of Take Care of the Young Lady, a k-drama that starts out marvelously but ends in a discombobulating, messy pile of mushy crap, much like eating a triple decker spaghetti sandwich. What I failed to notice when I first watched the episode was this:
Yes, you saw it correctly. In this opening montage introducing the affluent leading lady, there is an issue of Poople magazine. Movies and TV shows often have terrible names for prop magazines, but this is by far my favorite. I mean, even if you don’t know English that well, how can you write “Poople” and not feel like something is off? Whenever I learn a new language, I immediately learn the term for excrement and all the swear words. But maybe that’s just me and fifth graders.
This is either a sneaky joke or an embarrassingly accurate foreshadowing of the end of this drama. Either way, I’m referring to People as “Poople” from now on because honestly, it’s a more appropriate name anyway.
(Psst… watch this in HD for the highest low quality.)
This is a video collage of random beach-related YouTube vids that I threw together in a fan music video for Expwy.
His music makes me want to go to the beach… and ride a bike, I guess. I don’t even like the beach that much. Yeah, that’s how good this song is. Worth-getting-sand-up-your-ass good.
Okay, okay, the truth is I’ve been really beach-crazed this summer, like a baby-crazed woman on her 35th birthday who’s always wanted kids but doesn’t have any, only, y’know, with a beach.
MY BEACHOLOGICAL CLOCK IS TICKING.
Lolz her name is Pancake. SUCKS TO BE YOU, PANCAKE.
It’s the Friday the 13th miracle no one was asking for! Two blog posts in one day!
See this dress? It’s awesome, but it’s made out of something totally gross.
Find out what it’s made of after the jump.
I got my first tick today. I think it was a deer tick. It was big, and it was gross.
I was driving home from having trekked through woods and tall grasses at this guy’s house, and about 30 minutes after hitting the road, this little bug that seemed like a spider started crawling up my arm. I HATE spiders. They’re evil and hell bent on revenge if you try to squish them.
Shit My Cake Says 