Posts tagged “candy

Miley Cyrus’s Tongue Is All Up in Yo Bidness

“Not Without My Tongue: A Drama of Loss and Reprisal”

I kid, it’s just Miley’s tongue hangin’ loose.

By now you have surely seen Miley Cyrus’s disgusting VMA performance. If not, watch it. Everyone else had to be scarred for life so WHAT MAKES YOU SO SPECIAL THAT YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE, HUH?

Ahem. This is a compilation of Miley’s tongue hanging out (along with pretty much everything else), slobbering on the audience and trying to steal the show from that candy-throwing chick with the huge butt Miley for some reason had on stage with her.

I won’t even get into how sad her performance was. Honestly though, she might have sold it if HER TONGUE HADN’T CONSTANTLY BEEN OUT. Sticking out your tongue once, twice, even thrice is a gesture of rebellion and angst; sticking it out 100 times is just weird and makes it seem like you’re trying really hard to be young and edgy. We all know she would have had that thing out for every waking moment of the performance had she not had to sing.

Also, I must get this out once. Wearing a nude latex bikini that is 4 sizes too small is NOT HOT. Ok?! Not. Hot. That thing was so far up her ass crack I’m surprised her legs didn’t fall off.


The 8 Days of Halloween

Christmas has 12 days. Halloween has only one. That doesn’t seem fair, does it? It definitely doesn’t, which is why I’m counting down to Halloween starting today.

On the first day of Halloween, my true love gave to me…

Human Body Part Candy Sushi!

Ew, I don’t want the nose one. Who wants to taste boogers in their cannibalism?

Turning Japanese

Japan has a bunch of CA-RAZY Kit Kat flavors, most of which are not available  to ship to the U.S. You should feel bad about that, since that means you’re probably never going to be able to try them. They are, however, willing to ship us the crappy and/or questionable flavors. Among those Crap Kats, a few delicious kinds get mixed in. So even though you’re pathetic and will probably never try any Kit Kats other than the plain ol’ American kind, I decided to rub my Kit Kat experience in your face and give you a description of a few flavors of Japanese Kit Kats: