Posts tagged “video

Miley Cyrus’s Tongue Is All Up in Yo Bidness

“Not Without My Tongue: A Drama of Loss and Reprisal”

I kid, it’s just Miley’s tongue hangin’ loose.

By now you have surely seen Miley Cyrus’s disgusting VMA performance. If not, watch it. Everyone else had to be scarred for life so WHAT MAKES YOU SO SPECIAL THAT YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE, HUH?

Ahem. This is a compilation of Miley’s tongue hanging out (along with pretty much everything else), slobbering on the audience and trying to steal the show from that candy-throwing chick with the huge butt Miley for some reason had on stage with her.

I won’t even get into how sad her performance was. Honestly though, she might have sold it if HER TONGUE HADN’T CONSTANTLY BEEN OUT. Sticking out your tongue once, twice, even thrice is a gesture of rebellion and angst; sticking it out 100 times is just weird and makes it seem like you’re trying really hard to be young and edgy. We all know she would have had that thing out for every waking moment of the performance had she not had to sing.

Also, I must get this out once. Wearing a nude latex bikini that is 4 sizes too small is NOT HOT. Ok?! Not. Hot. That thing was so far up her ass crack I’m surprised her legs didn’t fall off.

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Me Want Beach, and Expwy Needs More Fans

(Psst… watch this in HD for the highest low quality.)

This is a video collage of random beach-related YouTube vids that I threw together in a fan music video for Expwy.

His music makes me want to go to the beach… and ride a bike, I guess. I don’t even like the beach that much. Yeah, that’s how good this song is. Worth-getting-sand-up-your-ass good.

Okay, okay, the truth is I’ve been really beach-crazed this summer, like a baby-crazed woman on her 35th birthday who’s always wanted kids but doesn’t have any, only, y’know, with a beach.

MY BEACHOLOGICAL CLOCK IS TICKING.

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Intermission Video

I made this video for a school performance event (it was silent film-themed, sort of) to tell the audience to get the hell outta the room and go do something else for ten minutes, because it was time for intermission.

 


Cinematic Sin

With the slew of horrendous summer movies finally coming to a close, we can all breathe easier and willingly walk into movie theaters again. But do you even need to go to the theater to get action-packed, thrilling, romantic, glorious cinematic content? No ma’amsir, you do not. Go to Blockbuster and rent everything on my newest list: movies that are often overlooked despite their poignant and outstanding cinematic content:

1. White Chicks: Two down-and-out FBI CSI CIA NYPD black men have to protect two young, spoiled, blonde white women. After inevitably getting into a steamy affair with the girls, the men ponder life, love, and discover religion. Through their physical intimacy, they lead the girls on an emotional journey and teach them how to appreciate the little things in life, like sex. Since one of the men is married, and has discovered religion (what religion? All the religions!) since consummating his affair, he feels deeply guilty for betraying his wife and begins a long trek home, disguised as the white woman he plowed. This is obviously because he feels the need to literally show the world what he’s done, and the easiest way to do that is by cross-dressing and cross-ethnicitying. His fellow law enforcement black friend joins him on his journey, also disguised as the woman he slept with, to repent with him for betraying his own wife, who doesn’t exist, since he’s not married. This movie is a journey of journeys, about journey, with the entire soundtrack consisting of Journey.

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