Christmas is almost here, and you haven’t finished shopping! Gasp! Whatever shall you do? Perhaps… purchase a cat sweater or two? That’s right, folks: the long-awaited sequel to Christmas Cat Sweaters is here, and it’s even more questionable than before! Thanks to the multitude of hipsters infesting the USA, the cat sweater population is at an all-time high, so you can find the perfect gift for every member of your family. We don’t have much time before your chain-smoking Aunt Beth arrives and demands to know where her present is, so let’s get down to business, shall we?
It’s the Friday the 13th miracle no one was asking for! Two blog posts in one day!
See this dress? It’s awesome, but it’s made out of something totally gross.
Find out what it’s made of after the jump.
If you haven’t heard about the Gummy Bear Dress, allow me to fill you in. Someone made a dress out of 50,000 gummy bears that weighs 220 lbs because they were so inspired by the awesome Alexander McQueen dress pictured below that they just had to
plagiarize recreate it in gelatin-based candies.
It made me realize that I’ve missed several golden opportunities to make my own interpretations of beautiful things out of random crap. If only the bed I made out of graham cracker crumbs hadn’t been carried away by the ants. The ants. So many ants… so many… there wasn’t time…
Oh well. The good news is, there’s no shortage of artistic people with a few screws loose who get struck by inspiration the way I got struck by a shopping cart in a Kroger parking lot
because I tried to steal an old lady’s newly bought denture cleaner so I could see what it tasted like for no reason. People get inspired all the time, and they put the products of their inspirations online:
You only need one kidney. I’m not suggesting anything illegal per say, but organs can get you some pretty good moolah on the black market (BM for those of us in the know… wait, no—BM is bowel movement). You’re going to need two heaping handfuls of cold hard cash if you’re going to afford this bad boy:
Often times, I’ve found myself flipping through the pages of fashion magazines only to be supremely confused, mostly by the farms. The farms, the farms! Why do so many photo shoots happen on farms? Farmers don’t wear ball gowns when they milk their cows. They wear, like, unfashionable stuff, like overalls. This phenomenon has been going on for years and it has never made sense. Not that fashion really makes sense so much as it makes some of us feel bad and some of us feel amazing. But no one feels amazing in Valentino if they’re loading hay bales into the back of a rusty pick-up, so why are farms a staple of fashion advertising?
I think this is from America’s Next Top
Attention Whore Model. I’m not even gonna ask what’s up with the black thing she’s eating. All that matters is that a model is actually eating… while jumping up and down on what looks like a road paved with cow poo.