Apparently “Haute Couture” Means “Masturbating With a Bucket of KFC”
In the middle of a Books-A-Million, I crouched down and started snapping photos of an allegedly straight man’s magazine I found. Forgive me, I don’t remember what the man-azine was called, but you wouldn’t either if you saw this:
Here we have a nice young man who appears to be modeling underwear while working out and simultaneously stuffing Pizza Hut condiment packets into his Hugo Boss briefs. Seems sensible enough.
I feel like there’s some sort of innuendo here, but I just can’t quite put my chopstick on it…
Worst Things for Sale at Hot Topic
Star Socks– Oh boy! I love the greasy, tasteless food at Carl’s Junior. I’m so glad I can wear the Carl’s Junior Star on my feet now!
Brass Knuckles Backpack– I highly suggest walking through a dark alley in the bad part of town while wearing this brass knuckles-patterned backpack. It just screams, “Fight me, I’m a badass.”
Twilight “Team Jacob” Band-Aids– Good, just in time to mend the wounds from all that rough sex adolescent teens are having with werewolves. Oh wait… werewolves don’t exist. No werewolf werewounds, no need for wereband-aids. (more…)
Shit My Cake Says 