Worst Things for Sale at Hot Topic
Twilight “Team Jacob” Band-Aids– Good, just in time to mend the wounds from all that rough sex adolescent teens are having with werewolves. Oh wait… werewolves don’t exist. No werewolf werewounds, no need for wereband-aids.
Reptar Suspenders– Look, I was probably the biggest Rugrats fan of all when I was a kid, I mean, I think I had like four Rugrats-themed birthday parties, but I wouldn’t wear these. Would you wear a giant styrofoam Tommy Pickles on your head in public? Well, that’s basically what you’re doing if you wear these suspenders.
Aquaman Action Figure– Hottopic.com has action figures under the accessories tab. Since when are action figures accessories? Since when does Aquaman even qualify as a legitimate superhero? I wouldn’t carry him around. With that color scheme, he’d clash with my shoes.
Tru Blood Drinks—You know that awesome taste you get in your mouth when you haven’t flossed in a while, then you floss and you taste metal? I’m so glad a retail chain is encouraging us to purposely taste that.
This entry was posted on August 12, 2010 by MaryChain. It was filed under Clothing, Comedy, Uncategorized and was tagged with accessories, action figures, Aquaman, baby, backpack, band aids, Bella, Bob Marley, bracelet, brass knuckles, Carl's Junior, clothes, clothing, drink, emo, friendship, goth, gross, hipster, horrifying, Hot Topic, hottopic.com, lame, Nickelodeon, onesie, online, Reptar, retail, Rugrats, shoes, skirt, socks, stupid, style, suspenders, Team Jacob, throwback, tru blood, Twilight, ugly, whore, zebra.