Concert Review: BRMC at Trees, Oct. 24th, 2010
BRMC no longer stands for “Black Rebel Motorcycle Club”. After their amazing show at Trees in Dallas, TX, last Sunday night, it now stands for “Badass Rockin’ Mind-Blowing Concert”. In other words, my new drug. Their concert was so good, it felt like what I imagine cult members think they’re gonna feel like after they drink the Kool-Aid.
When I woke up on Monday morning, the whole night felt really surreal, like a meth-head dream. I’ve never smoked meth though, so I have no idea what that feels like. The surrealism of the night before makes me think BRMC concerts are drugs in and of themselves, only better since they’re less likely to kill you. I’ve only been to two of their shows, and now attending more is an absolute necessity. In March earlier this year, they came to the House of Blues in Dallas, and the show was good, but Sunday night’s was way better. This was either because Robert Levon Been was on fire, or because this time around, there weren’t any douchebags asking for a tangerine to the face.
8 Reasons Why Snakes on a Plane Is a Great Parenting Guide
1. Snakes on a Plane teaches us to put our children’s safety above all else with this cardinal rule: always carry a gun on a plane. This should be obvious. The threat of snakes, orangutans, piranha, and other wild animals on planes is no laughing matter. The only way to take down a lei-horny snake is to shoot it, despite the fact that you’ve probably already killed several others with homemade flamethrowers, knives, and broken bottles duck-taped to sticks. Remember parents: put your child’s wellbeing first. Carry a gun so you can shoot the snake before it shoots your child.
2. I bet before you saw Snakes on a Plane, you thought small children were the most susceptible to death by snakebite. Wrong! Snakes on a Plane teaches us that children have special black cobra antibodies, and these antibodies keep the small children alive for hours and hours while the bitten adults collapse and die around them. So next time Camp Counselor Willy takes them out for a tent-time adventure, don’t pack the snakebite kit. Instead, keep it close to you in your home, because snakes are 73% more likely to attack you in a residential area than in the woods. Of that 73%, they are 56% more likely to attack you indoors. Fact.
3. Stop playing fetch with your dog and start playing fetch with your dog. Snakes on a Plane demonstrates the fun of playing fetch with a snake, using your dog in place of a stick or ball. Children love this activity, and it’s completely G-rated. In fact, snake fetch was one of the most cherished family activities of Roman times, seconded only by BBB, baby booze binging. Take a cue from the Romans and round up your kiddos in the backyard for a game of snake fetch before dinner. You can even add to the fun by tossing your child at the snake instead of the dog!
Shit My Cake Says 