Weirdest Yahoo! Answers Questions

Yahoo! Answers is a breeding ground for teenagers, the desperate, trolls, and troll dolls, so naturally, I hang out there sometimes. I’ve compiled a list of the weirdest questions I’ve come across in that weird, weird place in cyberspace.

Of course! I can’t believe you had to ask, I thought it was common knowledge.

I can’t believe spraying butter on your shoulders didn’t work. Maybe try margarine instead? Oh, and make sure your frontal lope is fully developed. (I also think it’s worth noting that “p” and “b” aren’t anywhere near each other on the common keyboard.)

Okay, listen carefully. Get a bendy straw, a quart of distilled water, and exactly three inches of dental floss. Take the dental floss and wrap it around the straw. Then go get drunk and cry about your small penis.

Absolutely. Cigarette smoke is great for fetuses.

I know what you mean. Sometimes I see a stray cat digging through a garbage can and picture that the trash can is actually a hot tub filled with chocolate sauce. It’s perfectly natural.

YOU GUYS I AM BEING SERIOUS. DO YOU LIKE WAFFLES?!?! I LIKE THEM WITH FRESH STRAWBERRIES WHILE RIDING A MINIATURE PONY TO THE LAKERS GAME. ANSWER ME. DO YOU F**KING LIKE WAFFLES??!?!?!?? YES OR NO?!? DO NOT F**K WITH ME. WAFFLES GO WELL WITH TIGERS.

Yes, his muscles make his balls stronger—so strong, in fact, that they are probably literally balls of steel. When a man works out hard enough, his testicles have a chemical reaction with the sweat produced from exercise, and they turn into chunks of metal. Duh.

I’m going to assume that you’re talking about your buttocks. The best remedy for rectal itches is a pint of mayonnaise, applied any way you like.

Holey Condoms, Batman! We’ve got to get him to Jerry Springer!

Yes, but it’s better to eat fire ants. It’s also best to eat fire ants while they’re still alive so you can feel them sting you as they slide down your gullet. Bon appétit.

Clearly, you’ve been using Axe body spray.

What if uncle come find Aunty cross back with guy sit back in car with hand and anything… AND SHE DOES NO TELL?

Not in Alabama.

In your case, I highly advocate self-cannibalism.

Last time I checked, you couldn’t get high off of drinking cocaine, but what do I know. I say go for it.

I don’t really know why this was filed in Singles & Dating (seriously), but if you’re looking for a special someone to help you pull it out, I’m not your girl.

So, let me get this straight—you got high, which is illegal, but need permission from random Internet people to study for your exam? Seems reasonable.

I agree with Chiba.

True love knows no age or restraining order.

I have to choose?

Extra pleasure condoms only work in the north wing of the school cafeteria between 2:00 and 3:00 pm. After 3:00, they turn back into magic beans and your boyfriend is an ass.

Uhhhh…

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…

I… I don’t even… I can’t even… Wow.

WHO WAS PHONE?!

I started this list before I realized that there are other, better lists of crazy Yahoo! Answers questions floating around on the internet. My favorite is this one. I encourage you to give it a look-see.

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