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Worst Commercials of 2010

I’m sick. Since I’ve been sick, I’ve been watching plenty of TV, which means plenty of commercials. So, it is with great disgust that I give you the Worst Commercials of 2010:

1. Those F*CKING OLD NAVY MANNEQUIN COMMERCIALS: I hate these commercials with a burning passion. I really hate the one where they’re suddenly naked (um, ‘scuze me, Old Navy, but aren’t you supposed to be family friendly?), but there’s one I hate even more than that mannequin nudiefest. It’s the most recent addition to the abomination ads, the faux sitcom one where the creepy, lifeless-eyed mannequins move into a house together and are greeted by their flesh-and-blood real human neighbors. There’s a laugh track. I hate laugh tracks. Except for this one. My biggest beef with this commercial lies within the total lack of reality. No, I’m not talking about how mannequins gained the ability to talk and sign a lease. We all knew it was bound to happen at some point, as Wes Craven pointed out in his scariest movie ever, Mannequin. I’m talking about how mannequins from different racial backgrounds managed to live in harmony within one house. The only way this situation is plausible is if they were on The Real World: Mannequins. As far as I know, The Real World doesn’t have a laugh track, so Old Navy has no excuse for this horrible, terrible, disgusting, appalling, atrocious, frightening, deplorable series of commercials.

2. Cheez-it Commercial: Ugh. Uggghhh. Ugggghhhh. Uggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh.

3. That Bullshit Jeep Commercial: This commercial is all about America as an upstanding country in which its citizens build anything and everything they use. The narrator states, “This has always been a nation of builders and craftsmen…” What, you mean when we outsource to China? Jeep, get your act together. Even if you do build all your cars in America, there’s no way all your workers are legal citizens. Sure, Jeep, we’re a nation of craftsmen, but you’re a nation of crafty salesmen.

4. Lowe’s “First Time Home Buyers” Commercial: Mr. and Mrs. Stupididiotface are incompetent homeowners! Hilarity ensues!

Best Commercial of 2010:

Big O Tires Commercial: I’m not sure why I like this low-budget, poorly-photoshopped commercial so much. Is it the tire-rimmed sunglasses, the fact that he gets cut off mid-belting, or that this commercial is painfully reminiscent of ‘NSYNC’s glory days? Whatever the reason, I dub this my favorite commercial of 2010. Congratulations, Big O Tires! You win nothing!

However, Big O can’t compete with 2010’s real best ad, and possibly the best ad ever, The Swagger Wagon.

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