In keeping with my current trend of posting videos long after it’s relevant to post them, here’s another video.
A few weeks ago was Fashion’s Night Out. If you don’t know what that is, you’re lame. Sorry, but it’s true. Don’t feel too bad, though, because this year I was lame, too. I only went to the Northpark Mall for FNO festivities and missed out on some pretty cool stuff. Wah wah wah. There’s always next year. Anyway, while I was there I took some video clips, all of which I later realized were super awful and shaky. Like, in-a-paddle-boat-in-the-middle-of-the-ocean-during-a-storm-and-also-there-are-dogs-trying-to-bite-you shaky. Free Neiman Marcus champagne + my already shaky hands = terrible cameraperson. Anyway, I salvaged what I could, and this video features some new Ted Baker looks, so if you’re like me and scream, “TED BAKER!” in crazed excitement whenever someone mentions the brand, take a look-see.
Though the designs aren’t featured, the vid also shows the cool chicks behind the badass bra stylings of Dallas-based 72 Hour Freek Couture, who’s catered to the likes of Nicki Minaj.
I thought I posted this video I made back in May but I didn’t, and I want to for some reason even though I don’t really like it, so here it is. The May 2012 Bike Friendly Greenville Avenue ride around White Rock Lake in Dallas, TX.
I’ll be straight with you. This video is boring. How boring? Watch it and see (in 1080p). Considering all I had to work with was b-roll, crappy audio and a never-ending obsession with “Walkabout” (the song in the video), however, I’d say it could be a lot worse.
Originally, I posted the video on my sparse YouTube channel back in May, when it was appropriate to do so. Today, however, I noticed something distressing. I essentially made a typo, but video editing-style. What I mean is I made a few careless mistakes and didn’t double check the video upon exporting it. This could largely be chalked up to the fact that when I finished it, it was 5:00 in the morning and I was transitioning from drunk to hungover. Some of the images weren’t cropped correctly and didn’t line up with the framing, which left thin black lines at the sides of the screen in some places.
There’s a new movie coming out that’s going to change your life more than any other movie you’ve ever seen ever in the entire world everywhere ever. It’s called Speak Jon Wilson and it’s amazing.
The only problem is that it’s not coming out for a while. Is that really a problem, though? No, no it is not. Why? Well, I’m glad you asked.
Webisodes.
Speak Jon Wilson is making a ton of “behind the scenes, before the movie” webisodes for your YouTube enjoyment. No need to leave the house or put down your cheese puffs, because you can watch them from the comfort of your chair, bed, table, floor, trashcan or bathtub. I don’t recommend holding a laptop while you’re in the tub, since there’s a slight chance you could, you know, die, but this is America and you have freedom of self-electrocution, so I won’t stop you. Regardless of where you’re watching these webisodes, just make sure you watch them. You can even send suggestions for what kind of stuff you want to see in them to TriumviratePicturesTX@gmail.com.
Don’t worry, these webisodes won’t be your typical behind-the-scenes bullshit, like, a voiceover from the director with a bunch of B-roll of scripts and set lights and production assistants passing out from exhaustion. I mean, there might be a couple of those types of videos, but a lot of what you’re going to see is gonna be badass. I’d go into more detail, but I don’t want to give anything away.
The webisodes aren’t going to start coming out until next week, but rest assured I’ll link to them when the time comes. For now, go to facebook.com/speakjonwilson and “like” the page. If you don’t, you know I’ll find you anyway, so just do it before things get all messy and borderline illegal. Gracias!
Okay, actually, nobody sang about Twilight, which is good, considering how my Twilight-induced PTSD flares up whenever I hear someone say “Robert Pattinson”. So luckily for me, and everyone else in the venue, the Twilight Singers just sang about… other stuff. Honestly, I don’t know what they sang about, because I didn’t pay attention to their set for a few reasons:
BRMC no longer stands for “Black Rebel Motorcycle Club”. After their amazing show at Trees in Dallas, TX, last Sunday night, it now stands for “Badass Rockin’ Mind-Blowing Concert”. In other words, my new drug. Their concert was so good, it felt like what I imagine cult members think they’re gonna feel like after they drink the Kool-Aid.
When I woke up on Monday morning, the whole night felt really surreal, like a meth-head dream. I’ve never smoked meth though, so I have no idea what that feels like. The surrealism of the night before makes me think BRMC concerts are drugs in and of themselves, only better since they’re less likely to kill you. I’ve only been to two of their shows, and now attending more is an absolute necessity. In March earlier this year, they came to the House of Blues in Dallas, and the show was good, but Sunday night’s was way better. This was either because Robert Levon Been was on fire, or because this time around, there weren’t any douchebags asking for a tangerine to the face.
In Farmer’s Branch, TX, there was a man who went (and still goes) to Vegas seven times a year funded only by money he made begging. After waking up in his nice bed in his house in the suburbs, he’d dress in tatty clothes, smear himself with dirt, park his Ford Explorer five or six blocks away from the day’s designated street corner, and pretend to be an injured homeless man. His injury switched every week. One week his leg was broken, the next week he had a back brace, then the next week his arm was in a sling.
Another “homeless” man made roughly $300 a day begging, or $100,000 a year, tax-free. With a “salary” like that, why would he ever stop begging? Easy work for a decent living? Why would anyone say no to that?
Oh, right. Because normal people have consciences, or at least, I hope we do.
Call me callous, but this is why I never give money to people on the street. If I’m going to give money to people in need, I want to make sure they’re actually in need. That’s why charities are ideal establishments for donations, as opposed to an allegedly homeless person’s coffee cup that I can’t be sure came from a trash can or Pier 1. Homelessland isn’t an every-man-for-himself anarchy. Many charities and shelters exist to help real homeless people, or at least pretend to help them, and at the end of the day, isn’t that all that really counts?
Margot & the Nuclear So and So’s
