It’s Christmas time, so it only makes sense that I should write about last Halloween. Here’s a step-by-step guide of how to turn yourself into that herpes-infested pumpkin lady we all love to loathe so much.
7. The Plethora of Made-For-TV “ABC Family Original” Movies: Weighed against such gems as Revenge of the Bridesmaids, Pizza My Heart, and Karate Dog, Lindsay Lohan’s Labor Pains could actually be considered a good film. Except not.
6. The Secret Life of the American Teenager: Their lives are so secret that everyone knows everyone else’s secrets. Barely attractive, terrifyingly horrendous actors pretend to sleep around. Everyone is pregnant, including that one guy who looks oh so much like a girl. In fact, most of the stars look like they used to be the opposite gender of what they are allegedly now. I vote a title change to “The Secret Life of the American Tranny”.