Posts tagged “crocs

Friday the Cowteenth

Today is Friday the 13th, but it’s also National Cow Appreciation Day, which means free meals from Chick-Fil-A. The stipulation to the free food is that you have to dress up like a cow to get it. You can half-ass it and get a sandwich, or you can go full-cow and get an entire meal. Being poor and obsessed with Chick-Fil-A, I donned my best cowtfit and got my hooves on some delicious chicken. It got me thinking, though.

A while back, I wrote a post about fashion photo shoots on farms. It’s amazing that the world has so many crappy, pretentious farm photo spreads to offer, yet none that feature models posing as livestock. It’s a void that clearly needs to be filled, and I decided to take on the responsibility of doing so in the first ever Shit My Cake Says Photo Shoot:

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I Dream of Weenie

Asian child, I will eat you. Don’t think I won’t do it.

I recently got a job at a fast food restaurant because I forgot why I went to college. The place where I work serves hot dogs, and not just any hot dogs. Delicious hot dogs (see: Figure 4). I’ve never been a huge hot dog fan (unless “hot dog” is a euphemism), but being around them constantly is making me crave them. Need them. (more…)


100th Not Anniversary

I turn 100 today, sort of. This is my one hundredth post. Numero uno cero cero. Cien. Hundra. Een honderd. 百. In my old age I’ve gained much wisdom about the internet and blogging. Mostly the internet, though, and truthfully, next to nothing about blogging… or the internet. I know nothing. But that’s never stopped me from pretending I know what I’m talking about.

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OMG GUESS WHAT

…I started a fashion blog! So far it’s really pathetic and has no followers, but yay anyway! It’s called No Crocs Allowed because Crocs are terrible. I will personally see to it that anyone under the age of 40 who wears them eats a poo pie. Anyway, since I update this blog so regularly, it just makes sense that I’d start another one. So go troll my new blog, please and thank you.


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